Next up in the monthly series of ‘That Indian Woman’, we will be discussing a positive story of an Indian woman who got to live the life she always wanted.
Before telling her story, here is an introduction to this series.
This series will include experiences of women of Indian society, through various periods of their lives. Yes! A woman first, not a mother. Because not all women want to be a mother. Limiting a woman as a daughter, a wife, a sister, or a mother is not just limiting their existence to the role they play to the men in their lives. It is much more damaging.
Once again a story of a young girl from a village in India, who had always dreamed of becoming a nurse. At a young age, when she didn’t understand the jobs that were available, she just dreamt to be like her father. Her father, a government school teacher, has been her role model, and over time she grew interested in becoming a nurse. So from an earlier stage of her life, all she said to her father was that she wanted to become a nurse. And her father was someone encouraging and supportive.
She recalls her school teacher who encouraged her to pursue her studies seriously. We have seen how most teachers in the past were not that encouraging when it came to the studies of girl children. But in her case, she had a supportive teacher. She shares how her science teacher prompted her to pursue her ambitions.
She is someone lucky when it comes to household chores that were part of Indian culture. I am not saying one shouldn’t help with a household chore. I am saying it was wrong with segregating the chores as male work and female work. I think it was profoundly wrong that female children were trained in household chores not to be independent, but to be a good wife and daughter-in-law after marriage.
But this mother was lucky. Her father knew living in her house in the village, she would be naturally inclined towards doing the household chores. So he decided that she should stay in a hostel. He wanted her to focus on her studies. He didn’t want her to get involved in household chores and get distracted. If I could meet this gentleman today, I would certainly appreciate him for his decisions. He was not ready to compromise when it came to his daughter’s education and ambitions.
She tells though she doesn’t know how to do a lot of household work because of that, she took care of herself due to her independent life in a hostel.
When I asked what made her decide to become a nurse, she answered in an instant. She didn’t have precedent to get inspired from. Whenever she visited hospitals with her father, she felt inspired after seeing nurses helping out patients, and eventually, she decided to become one.
I asked her what kind of measures she took while facing difficulties at work. She says always before the time when it came to working.
From the way she talks, it is clear- her passion for her work is abundant.
She is pretty confident when she says she was able to separate her work life from her personal life. And after having twin children, she left to work after just 90 days of maternity leave. Whew! She is inspiring for all of us, those who are reluctant to go to work just because of back pain.
She does agree she couldn’t do it all alone. She humbly says she had her mother and niece for help.
When I asked about her financial freedom after marriage, she remembers how she was submissive in decision-making in the initial days of marriage. She always consulted her husband in terms of spending her salary and she was more than happy to do so. But over time she grew confident about her decision-making and now makes her own financial decisions.
She is financially independent and can take care of her money in terms of savings, investments, and expenses.
I asked about her work and how she feels after years of being a nurse. She is happy to share that she is easy to bond with. When she works, the patients found it easier to converse with her. They never saw her as a nurse but as one of themselves. She was happy to live the life of her dreams to help so many people. She was also open to learning to drive and attending English courses with her own children.
When I asked what would she wanted in the past from today’s world, she replies she was satisfied with her studies and her job. She completed her diploma to get into her job as a nurse. She went on to do B.A and M.A political science after marriage.
She was surprised when I asked her whether she had any restrictions growing up. She said she didn’t ever experience restrictions and gender discrimination. I was so happy when I heard that. To know at least some women had a positive experience and forward-thinking people in their life. I conveyed to her how blessed it was with a smile.
Truly I was happy when I heard this.
Owing to her father’s support, financial freedom, and work experience she has become self-resilient and independent. She is an inspiration for her children.
She was happy that her parents were patient to let her marry when she decided to. Losing her father during her 10th grade was unexpected for her. But her mother was ready to be there for her support. She got posted as a nurse in Chennai, which is way distant from her native place. Just after finishing her diploma, she had to relocate. That too to a big city. But she had her mother’s support and her courage made her never stop. Which we can’t help but admire.
The mother didn’t feel like what she did was a big deal. But after hearing stories of so many women, it seems like a big deal in those times. She had the opportunity, the supportive people, the inspiration, and her own conviction. She got where she is today because of all those things which many women can’t even dream of during those days. Nevertheless, I was glad to hear her story and I could help but be more convicted about my dreams.
